heal

this year i chose one little word.

a word to guide my thoughts and my desires.

heal

is the word i chose.


a couple of weeks ago, i was cleaning and found four prescriptions filled on the same day for the boys.

filled exactly the same week one year ago.

eight months, now.

still no doctor.


i sat down after finding those prescriptions. heavy with the weight of them in my hands.
heavy remembering the doctor's office, waiting at the drive-thru pharmacy, the little bottles lined up in my kitchen sink window.

and i remembered me.

sick.

tired.

sad.

i am still under immense stress and pressure (as i was at the time)--but my body and mind no longer feel the same as before. i am not foggy, lethargic, on the edge of coming down with something all the time.

i have energy. i feel vibrant. i feel capable.

that is what learning to heal my body has done for me.

given my life back.

the living part of life.

and it gave it back to my family as well.


i will be forever grateful to ellen.

to cali.

and to donna.

and to each and every one of you.